<Our Institute's focus is on an anger management class which will help court ordered anger addicts overcome their anger problems>

Although this situation is not quite so favorable, at least here half of the battle has already been won; being that the person has admitted they have anger and that this is a problem. The difficulty here is actually getting them to seek further help to solve this. It may be that the person has admitted that anger is causing them and other people around them a problem, but 'shrugs off' the situation saying that it will not happen again, or simply acknowledges that they suffer from anger but do not need any help 'that things will be alright'. Sadly this is seldom the case and if a problem is left -although human nature means that it is tempting to do this- the problem is only likely to get worse, with the solution being more challenging as time goes by.

PERSEVERE AND TRY AND MAKE THE FINAL PUSH - Now that the person has at least acknowledged that they have an anger management problem, even though they have no plans to do anything about this; it would be admitting defeat to give up on them at this stage - especially if they are somebody that we care about. No matter how difficult it is to get them to take further action, try and do this by following these suggestions.

HAVE A VERY PERSONAL 'HEART TO HEART TALK' AND POINT OUT THE BENEFITS OF THE PERSON TAKING STEPS TO MANAGE THEIR ANGER AND THE SITUATION IF THEY FAIL TO DO THIS - This situation should really be used as a shock tactic although it is vital to get the balance right here. Try and have a deep discussion about the anger and its causes. A good time to do this would be when the two of you are alone, after the children have gone to bed or after dinner. It is best not to have another person in the room -as they may be biased towards one person. If for instance they are biased towards the person with anger, the chances are that our requests for managing the anger will not be taken seriously, or if they side with us, the anger sufferer will likely feel that we are teaming-up with other people against them and the protectionist tendencies discussed earlier may come into effect. With just two people, a really private deep conversation can hopefully take place. The person may also open-up and discuss the causes of the anger and after this may even agree to take further steps.

If they do acknowledge that they have anger problems but still see no point in taking further action, tactfully point out that within the current situation 'we are at a crossroads with two paths to take'. Point out the two different scenarios: if they take action to manage their anger or what could happen if they fail to do this. The latter may shock them into taking further action, although be very tactful here. Yes by all means try and shock even scare the person, but there is a very fine balance needed here. If we scare them too much by making very serious threats; for instance that we will leave the person, they may feel that we do not care enough about them to help and are pushing them into a corner - a move that could be very counter-productive. On the other hand, without a slight push, there may be little incentive for the person to take the necessary action to manage their anger.

BE SYMPATHETIC AND COMPLEMENT THE PERSON FOR ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THEY HAVE AN ANGER PROBLEM - For many people, even admitting that they have an anger problem -regardless of whether they are willing to take action for this- is a major achievement and one that should be acknowledged by us. At this time the person is likely to be feeling very upset, have low morale and may have an overwhelming sense of guilt. It is now vital to make them feel special, to feel cared-about and stress that we are recommending that they receive anger management because we care about them. Also while discussing the anger and causes of this, make sure to complement them on the positive characteristics of their personality. Yes they may suffer from anger but they may also be a very good listener and/or have a very compassionate personality when they are not angered. This way, the conversation will simply not be full of negative comments and the information provided may be more detailed and truthful.

SUGGEST STEPS THAT COULD BE TAKEN TO ADDRESS THIS ANGER - If the person is still not convinced in taking further steps to address their anger, make a few suggestions to them. In this instance, try to not use scare tactics (especially if this approach has already been used and has not worked) as this may convince the person not to take further action and give-up completely. Just suggest very small approaches they can take -making sure that there are no commitments at first- and stress the point that we will be there to support them in doing this, so as not to feel they are alone. Small steps can often be good at first and make the process of anger management more approachable and realistic.

Anger Classes and programs and articles can help with your anger problems.

TRY TO PROVIDE AN EXAMPLE OF A PERSON WHO HAS BENEFITED FROM ANGER MANAGEMENT - This is one of the most frequent comments that I hear 'this anger management will not work for me'. The first thing that I say is that you cannot determine if something will not work for you if you have not tried it in the first place. It is like saying we do not like a certain type of food without ever having tasted it.

The best advice I can provide here is to show the person a real-life example of somebody who has benefited from anger management. These case studies are all over the internet or you could contact an anger management professional like myself to speak to the person directly and provide examples of people that have benefited from anger management and the ways this has improved the lives of not only themselves but also the people around them - whether these are family, friends or work colleagues.

Anger Classes and programs and articles can help with your anger problems.